| cha cha real slow |
[May. 18th, 2009|04:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
here's a note that says things aren't working out and that a friendship is the best thing because you have no time for me and i have little time for you and everything is just crazy and its probably for the best.
so we hang out just as friends and you tell me that you read the note and don't want to just be friends and you want to date me.
so we hang out but i have school and am super busy
i however try to call you when i'm not so busy and you don't answer
i see you and you tell me you're going to call me
you don't but i don't think anything of it and call you again to see if you want to hang out
you don't answer and then i see you laughing and holding hands with another girl.
thanks.
you were always just good on paper. |
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| Another New Start. |
[Jul. 29th, 2008|02:54 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
I am sadly misinterpreted.
I've moved on.
If you wish to keep tabs please note that I have a forwarding address.
BodyRecords. |
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| "Ah! Amazing night and a beautiful smart girl; who lives five hours away I can never win!" |
[Dec. 21st, 2007|11:44 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sufjan stevens :) | ] |
This is where it all begins... I think I'll call this
Book I
Chapter I : Happy Existence.
Well I had this huge 3 page entry that would be the beginning of a book had a chose to start writing one. However I will save it away in my computer and give it to you for some other time.
I am quite happy right now. Happy with a lot of things. I had a couple of really nice conversations with Moody the other day and this morning. I am actually content with the people I have surrounded myself with lately. Although most of the people I hang out with are merely aquantances, I feel like they are truley genuine. even if I haven't arrived at that level of trust with them, where I could call them friends I am comfortable with them. Comfortable enough, content enough that I am not always worrying if they are talking shit about me behind my back. That they aren't just hanging out with me because they have nothing better to do. I feel like if they had a problem with me or they didn't like something I was doing they would tell me. And if, 3 years from now, I am not "friends" with them, I will still be content knowing that it was good while it lasted and life goes on. Because I'm done surrounding myself by ruthless scoundruels. By people who are only looking out for their best interests, people who don't give a shit if they hurt someone as long as everything works out for them. And I am happy truly happy I started thinking about Christmas and New Years the other day and got really scared that I was going to be alone for the holiday's but the more I thought about it the more that I realized I don't need anyone else around to be happy. I have friends and family and that's good enough. Of course I am going to miss rushing around to that extra house to spend time with Ian and his family for the holiday's and I am going to miss not having someone to kiss on new year's but I'll be ok. Everything is going to be ok. :)
Thank you, for making me smile. Thank you for not knowing how much of an impact you have made on my life, just by giving me a wakeup call. Thank you so much for everything. |
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| Death in the heart of a stranger. (also titled, "Naked bodies and rhythm.") |
[Dec. 12th, 2007|07:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Matt Costa | ] |
I'm sick. I'm dieing. I wish that everyone has a grand life. I have to go to work in 2 hours. I feel that my last words will be, "Where are you headed?" and I shall die on my lovely Blue Cart. I need to curl up by a fire and watch movies. I have no voice. I can't feel my feet, and my head and throat feel like the crypt keeper looks. Alight, well, Have a Day.
Love Actually,
Monica Joyce Ruiz.
This is not to be continued.
However, P.S. A young fellow (who's name I will not mention), wrote a song about me entitled "Joyce Ruiz" and another entitled "July is Goodbye." I feel that some mention of this needs to be made. I quite enjoyed the song "July is Goodbye" I think it is very pretty, a little sad, but pretty. And as for the "Joyce Ruiz" song, not that it isn't a good song for what it is, I think that I would like it a lot more had it not been written about me or had my name in it. When the song was first played I was just listening to the melodie and I didn't catch all the words, but after reading the lyrics, I have decided that I don't like the song. It's, how you say,...a little intense for me. But thank you for the thought, haha. If ever you become famous one day for it I won't sue you for money or anything like that and I wish you all the best. And I do sincerely appologize for completely avoiding you for like a year. :/ The End. |
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| The National Average Chipper/Tiger is going to sleep comfortably tonight. |
[Dec. 10th, 2007|01:42 pm] |
Weekend, it was good. On Friday I just hung out with my little brother. We went to see The Golden Compass I enjoyed it very much. On Saturday I went to Encinitas and went shopping with my grandma. When I got back I drove Jason around for like 3 hours so he could sleep. Then, I went over to Elena's house and played Wii Bowling and watched movies. When we woke up in the morning, we went to Andrew's to watch the football game and then we listened to Zach, Andrew, and Phil jam. :) It was nice. Aftrwards I went home and took a shower and then went Christmas Shopping with Ian. I'm addicted to Target and I hate shopping for little girls. >:O No Bueno. Saturday Continued,...I went to Jazz night and then to Jill's. Jill's was fantastic. I got to hang out with Moody, Elena, Zach, Timmy, Jill, Ryan, Seth (the big jew), the lesbian, Tim, Mario, and of course the lovely Phillip. :) Anyways, I had a Joyous night, one for the books. haha It was amazing. I would go into detail about how amazing the night was, but that would take too long. hahaha. It ended with Reno 911 Miami. :)
("You look Chipper."...a few minutes later "Wait did you say Chipper?!") HAHA
("You are a Tiger! I'm going to start calling you that, OH MAN! why didn't I think of that sooner?")
("How big are you?"..."The national average, and I am quite content with that, because what I'm not in length I am in width.") Fucking hillarious.
("We are going to have to have a redemtion session,...Just sleeping, comfortably sleeping,...to make up for bad times.") LMAO
Oh Joy. well you know the drill...
To Be Continued... |
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| Sushi with a side of boggy water. |
[Dec. 7th, 2007|01:24 pm] |
I got off work @ 3.
I got 3 comic books.
On the way home I saw these 2 guys hitchhiking. I was tempted to pick them up, haha.
Interesting.
I went and got sushi with Shonna, we went to the Sushi Deli in Hillcrest.
I also went to get Sushi with Timmy, Josh, Elena, Zack, Phil, and Andrew. However we went to Ichiban's and it was better.
I went to Denny's with Timothy and Josh and Brandon and others. That was a good night.
I always see this guy while driving the cart and he used to see me and smile and wave, he looked very familiar so i waved back and tried to remember where i knew him from, but I have since discovered that he was just friendly and i did not actully know him, he only looked familiar because he kind of looks like the guys from the scene aesthetic combined. anyway i was driving by the other day and he waved and said something to me, i could barely hear him but i think he stumbled over his words and mumbled i like your cart, haha i turned to say thank you and i think he got hit in the face with a hacky sack, it was quite funny. then yesterday i was walking out of the office and i saw him walking on the other side of the grass we did the routine smile and wave, but then he started to walk towards me, and i'm thinking to myself, "please don't walk in the bog, please don't walk in the bog." sure enough he walks in the bog and i think he was trying to play it off but it was funny in my mind and he introduced himself while i was still thinking about the fact that he just walked in the bog i believe that he said his name was chris, anyway we talked about school and whatnot, but that was that. haha 2 very funny experiences, and with finals coming up and school schedules changing i will probably never see that boy again, but he made me laugh and i sincerely appreciate that. haha farewell sir. chris, the boy that made me laugh. i hope you have a wonderful life. :) i found out the other night that phil was in an uno commercial when he was little and he was on disney's the pet stop and he was in a bunch of disney commercials when he was younger as well, i thought that was interesting. what a character. I'm going to see Modest Mouse on monday, thank you "jesus". I want to see the golden compass. I want to go to new york so badly i could cry. I was playing some fanciful music with ian the other day and i enjoyed myself quite a bit...i want to do it again. :) i just made a gwenn stefani paper doll. haha. i'm really tired and bored. ok well....
To be continued... |
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| Rhinocerous, what can I help you with? |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|02:43 pm] |
I applied to work at Borders today.
Bleh.
I kind of hope I get the job because Jason works there and he's hillarious.
Michael and I had a total of 7 pick-ups today.
The G & V left early once again today.
I am AGAIN enjoying a nice cup of noodles.
nooooodles. crocker. haha why does that never get old.
i'm done. i'm going to put pictures in here later.
yeah.
Have a day. :) Have a day.
To be continued... |
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| New Storyline. |
[Nov. 20th, 2007|02:28 pm] |
circumstancial nothing-ness.
i miss jessy dearly.
i picked out my classes for next spring.
i tried to get into a gay bar. (that was interesting.)
it is very cold outside.
i saw beowulf and the bubble. the latter was better.
i'm about to eat a cup of noodles.
noooooodles. haha crocker.
i'm sadly addicted to chuck and heroes. tragedy.
i think i'm getting a new camera for christmas.
oh, i am selling a few things and if you would like to buy them let me know.
Here is a list of some of the items:
Electric Guitar, Amp, Guitar case, and Cord.
DVD player.
Couch.
VHS player.
Playstation 2.
Playstation 2 games.
Stereo Reciever.
Car speakers & amplifier.
5 CD changer and speakers.
etc.
My grandmother has decided that I can no longer sell my vehicle to go to New York.
So I have to find other means.
I need another job. :)
I hope you all have a wonderful day.
To be continued... |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|02:26 pm] |
my life and my entries and everything that goes on in my mind seem to be similar, they all tend to be blurbs of memories, words, moments...just blurbs no streams of thought or life, just momentary greatness. I have blips on my radar, I am a blip on the radar of life.
I went to San francisco.
Ian came.
Berkeley has bad Mexican food.
Wonderful Vintage shops though.
Apparently Berkeley isn't a fan of USC.
I like USC's colors.
They had a football game on Saturday.
Everyone was walking about wearing Griffyndor colors.
It was Magical. haha
I bought, ... Courdiroy pants, sweet glasses, a sweet bag with Mao ZeDong (tse-tung)?, etc, etc.
I went on a traveling venue. Imagine this...
Old police bus.
White.
Carpet.
Plants.
Doves.
Hammock.
Upper Level, Ladder.
Stage, Amps.
No seats.
Hippie Driver.
Heroin.
Cocain.
Weed.
Alcohol.
A Pit.
A Bon Fire.
Freeway speeds, Huge bus rocking back and forth.
8:00 p.m. - 4:00 a.m.
Crazy Bum.
Smelly people.
Dreadfully cold temperatures.
Lost.
Bottom of a Mountain in a woodsy area.
the end.
Also I saw the painted ladies.
That was nice.
It was cold.
The golden gate bridge is not as sweet as it's cracked up to be.
"I mean there are sweeter bridges." 'nuff said.
San Francisco has the sweetest architecture ever.
porn street.
Lost in the City.
"Hey I think you just passed Chinatown." -Zack
"No I don't think so let's keep driving." -Ian
About and hour and a half later we arrive at the location we had passed originally only to find that it actually was Chinatown. haha Thanks Ian.
Umm..Sweet lady.
Zack - "CHOW MEIN!" "FRIED RICE!" "DIM SUM!"
HAHA
we hiked about 2 blocks up a hill to this whole in the wall chinese food place. there was much volleyball playing, children running about, and verbal profanity.
then we walked back to the car and found the play we were actually looking for to eat at. the best part was it was litterally right up the street from our car and we had passed it on the walk up.
well i have to work now...more to come soon... |
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| there are no fences facing. |
[Oct. 24th, 2007|12:42 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bob Dylan :) | ] |
Once upon a time there were great explorations,... :) oh my goodness what is that? there must have been an accident. let's park the car and take a walk. I'm going to take a picture. What if there is a dead person lying on the ground. then i will take a picture. what if there is someones brains all over the ground? then i will take a picture. what if there is a babies brains all over the ground? then i will take a picture. what if there is 100 babies brains all over the ground? then i will be having a lot of money right now, and a picture of 100 babies brains. OH MAN I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON! no, you are just Monica. haha yeah i suppose that sums me up. I'd like to think that i know exactly who just Monica is but i don't i have no idea who i am or what i'm about. i don't know what i'm going to do in life, i don't even know what i'm going to do tomorrow. haha i have very few definate plans for my life. and the ones i do have will probably in no way better my life or my future. haha my plans...tegan and sara on Oct. 30th. San Fransisco on the 8th and New York in July. thats it thats all. I don't know what the fuck i'm going to do with school, what the fuck i'm going to do with my life, what the fuck, haha what the fuck. "I'm ready to go anywhere." oh boy. i can't think right now. this entry is to be continued... |
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| The guy at the guitar shop in encinitas drumming on his chest to this song....haha funny |
[Oct. 20th, 2007|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 15 Step - Radiohead | ] |
I think that everything is good. I think that everything is wonderful. I think that I'm going to read now. :) Have a wonderful weekend!
Jessy. Finish work and call me. I love you babycakes.
Dear Rudi. Hang out tomorrow. :) yes.
jambaa
park
coffee
weed
turk
timmy
michael
v
haha
valiant
jesus
sweet beard
d-d-d-dante
room
stuff
lost glasses
scriptures
ian
friends
jessy
zack
san fran
golfcrest
a friend lost
friends gained
these are just a few things on my mind right now. |
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| tragedy strikes us all. |
[Oct. 18th, 2007|11:35 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Back office. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jesustron- "Harold" | ] |
Today, Today was going to be a wonderful day, a joyous day, the greatest day of all.
My hair was good, Michael was wearing an amazing shirt. It was Magnificent. And then it all turned Grey. In one tragic moment, what could have been the greatest day of all time turned into the most frantic, panic-attack filled day of all time. :( Nicole fell today. We didn't see her. She just lay there, she looked lifeless, she looked cold. She cried of pain and then nothing. I held her head beneath my hand so to keep her from hitting it on the cement. I didn't know what was going on. No one knew what was going on. And then she spoke. We had driven off before her foot was completely off the cart. How were we to know. How were we to know??? I sat there with her not knowing what to do and then the crowds of people swarmed around. The only people I cared to see where Pam and Kathleen, they comforted her. They comforted me. But where was Michael? He was MIA I just wanted him to come back. He had other business to attend to before he could return. Other people he needed to help. Our job is so taken for granted, we are so taken for granted. I layed there with a girl I did not need to. There is no connection between us, we are not friends outside of the work area, but I could not bring myself to leave her until I knew she was in good hands, until she was ok. It's a human thing, a humane thing, the right thing to do. Everything happened so quickly and strangely enough it all seemed to be in slow motion. It wasn't even the end of anything, but having someone gasp for breathe while trying to say she can't breath; that is the end. The end of what, I don't know, but I felt as if I nothing to complain about. I sat there with one hand holding hers and the other under her head. Then someone said call DSPS so I called. I tried to find her Dr.'s # her sisters number. Then I called 911 and then the shouts of people telling me nevermind and they would do it forced me to tell the DAMN 911 EMERGENCY people to "hold on" and "nevermind, someone else is calling". WHO THE FUCK HAS TO PUT 911 ON HOLD????!!!! God i felt like and ASS. and then Frank came over, he was so funny and clueless, asking me to get up and show him my ID haha OH Frank. But then, Michael came back, for some reason, even though we didn't speak during the whole ordeal he made things better just by coming back, he is my best friend and just his presence made things better, oh i love him, and as long as i live i hope that he remains always and truley my best friend of all time. The fire department arrived and they handled things, i could let go of her hand and her head, i knew then when they got there that everything was OK and she would be ok. And now I sit here, I just sit in this back office listening to Magic and trying to overcome tears and a horrifying panic attack as Michael does the same. Oh us two bff's just sitting here staring blankly at the ground and the computer. This is us, this is our life, this is what we do. haha.
the end. |
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| Maria Magenta. |
[Oct. 11th, 2007|12:12 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Maria Magenta-Donovan | ] |
i made an ass out of myself while hanging out with Michael and Timmy.
haha the lady's name is Lisa.
I found my penguin.
Does anyone know what it is like to be as Happy as I am right now. Because I am very excited for you if you do.
I want my GOSH DANG reading glasses.
I can focus. I can't see. I can't finish TIMEQUAKE. and that my friend is very very dissapointing.
I love you.
The End. |
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| Dear Friend, |
[Sep. 12th, 2007|04:27 pm] |
i work, i school, i try to LIVE, then i sleep.
i'm always tired, so tired. let me never need to sleep. let me do whatever it is i desire and not have to feel that horrible tiresome need to lay down and never get up. i was swindled, conned, robbed, taken for granted. i will never forgive myself, i am quite and idiot. oh you blonde hair striped shirt rolex wearing bastard. if i ever meet you i will kick you so hard in the dick that you wont ever get up. i am outragiously dissapointed in you and i feel sorry for you. stop. i also got my first ticket today...poop. the officer was quite a nice man though and for some reason while recieving the ticket i felt quite peacful. odd. i'm going to disneyland with my grandma on saturday it should be quite fun. i love disneyland and my grandma...oh yes. i'm quite hungry right now drat! ... let's see, that four leaf clover that i found is not bringing me very much luck, oh! did i tell you, i found 2 four leaf clovers in the sam patch in a matter of seconds and i gave one to ian, hopefully he will have better luck than i am. :/ today was quite nice me and michael saw the lady. and yesterday we saw the turk....however that is not as grand as getting to see ross/russ the asian (dijori doo) player is that right?
well anyway miss. j. parr took pictures of me.
strange. i find myself very modest and one of low self esteem. hmm.
it was awkwardly hard to model for someone. but jessy is quite a character...haha and yes i am that old that i just said character... :)
well i love you honey bunches....
To Be Continued.... |
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| Dreams reem you in the Ass. or so the story goes. |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|11:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Geoff Ledaks Mix | ] |
I think I am officially caught up with Kyle XY haha...Yesterday was kinda nice...I hung out with Ian and Steve. We went downtown. And Walked for Miles. Then Ian and I went to Dave's house...for like an hour I was the only girl there, it was awkward. I have no money's until Wednesday Laaaaame. I was so incredibly Lazy today...well first off I went to guitar and then I went to my Cousin/Great Uncle/Great Aunts house I haven't seen them in a long time, that was nice. Then I went to Day's and Died of a heat stroke, and then me and Ian went to his house and I layed there for a long time. Finally we went to my parents house and ate some food and then we drove downtown and then back again. I'm like the lamest person to go in any type of long distance car ride in because I always fall asleep no matter what. So anyway, don't be a stranger...haha...I guess here are some picks from the last week or so...
( don't be juvenile. ) |
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| Haha I know Right...! |
[Aug. 30th, 2007|03:30 pm] |
Best and Worst day of my life. I think I'm going to just do Segments with highlights.
Michael, the Foresighted one, was unable to predict how intense the day was going to be. He Mossied along without a care going from pick-up to pick-up on his handy cart. Around 10:00 when Monica shows up for work the cart schedule started getting intense. People were calling in left and right to complain that they had been waiting in the heat for 5 minutes longer than they should be. With each announcment of these compaints over the walkie's Michael and Monica began to grow more enraged. Around 12:00 the white cart broke down and we were forced to pick up over 18 people. And Here is where everything becomes a highlight.
Michael was getting sassy with the bitching students.
I fought Kevin.
Carmela almost killed me.
Diedera singing.
Heat Stroke.
Forcing the cart on Carmela and Chelsea.
Turk.
Ross.
Walkie in the Lap.
Michael's comatose puppetry.
Getting off at 4.
Potatoes, Chicken Sandwiches, and Vile Pizza.
Officer Wilson, He never stops making me laugh.
Froading.
HAHA I know Right.
The end.
You wish you were as cool as me.
 |
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| Turks, Excorcisms, Fish, and the Scaring of Miss. Ally. |
[Aug. 30th, 2007|12:34 am] |
Hajimemashite. Doozo yoroshiku.
Ha Ha. So I'm taking this Japanese class and it's really sweet. This guy in there that is a TA is really nice. I found out that he is like 32 and I thought he was like 20 something. Well anyway.... I went to this study session tonight at the starbucks on Navajo and Fletcher, that was a good experience. I think I'll go more often. So I went to Mike's apartment and I never mentioned that. I am up to quite a bit.
Highlights and Key Moments...
Couch on fire.
Mike and Ian Drunk.
Meeting Albertson(s), Nick, Mason, Chris, Colleen, and the rest of those people.
Discussing what to do with the barrell table.
Skate.
High.
Sleep.
Car.
Stuck to cart.
Fish.
Santa Lawn Gnome.
Ross(japanese Guy)
Neighbor.
Michael/Val
Memoirs.
SuperPowers.
Excorcisms.
Cancers.
Aerials.
Kara, Broc, Brett, Heather, Clint, Ally, and Friend.
Scaring Ally.
SNL Best of Will Farrell.
Smile Guy at P & O's.
No Taco Tuesday.
Turk.
More Cart.
Officer Wilson.
More Valiant.
Kayla driving the Cart.
I think that pretty much wraps it up.
The End.
P.S. One day I'm going to have to elaborate on all of that. (maybe tomorrow haha) |
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| Dear Journal, |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|05:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Back office, corner desk | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Greatness that is Matt Kirshen. | ] |
It's Funny how I tend to stray to my good ol' live journal around August. I don't know what it is about my birth month that makes me feel the need to talk (to myself) haha. I wish I was funny enough to be on Last Comic Standing. I'm just a weirdo. I don't know why but this girl on last comic standing reminds me of Elliot from Scrubs. Too bad she didn't move on. Well actually not. Anyway. I think today should be quite swell. Tomorrow is Friday, that's nice. Well, I like this mood I've been in. I hope you have a good day, and by you I suppose I'm talking to myself. haha. So I think that Josh Blue has a contender. Dun, Dun, Dun. Matt Kirshen. Although, He might not be as funny as good ol' Blue. He is definately equally as amazing.
^^^That is LOVE! |
|
|
| Dear Journal, |
[Aug. 13th, 2007|12:50 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Eve 6 | ] |
It was my birthday yesterday (an hour ago) It was pretty nice. Well for the most part. I've been put into a serious position of cluelessness, is that a word? Well you know. I don't know what to think about things. Let's just say hypathetically speaking that I have a friend who is in the same "boat" as me and that damn boat has brought me back to "I don't know". SHIT! II hate that, how does this happen. Well, I'm not going to get into that because I'm in a damn good mood right now.
Highlights of my birthday...
In no particular order.....
WalMart
Trash Bag Suits
The Great Search for Reservoir Dogs
Pinky
Hugs
Tricycle
Tattoo
Mike Calling me
Brunch
Corn Cake
Poppie and Bird
Starbucks
The Living Room
Uno
Sleep Over
Chain Smoking
Juice
14 Min Adventure to Mission Valley for Bourne Ultimatum and then NOT seeing it.
The Germans
3 Hour Nap
Last But Not Least
Here's to not being a loser all day and having a good time.
Thank You to everyone who made this possible.
I love you.
|
|
|
| Dear Journal, |
[Aug. 10th, 2007|11:26 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Cubicle of Solitude | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tegan and Sara - I Was Married | ] |
My birthday is in 2 days. My birthday is never a big event. My grandma always takes me somewhere to eat, this year we are going to the El Torito Sunday brunch. Corncake; it's what I live for. I am going to have some people over tonight. I don't know why, but I have voted for a non-drinking birthday party. I don't even really want people to come over. I just want a day where I can hang out with just a few of my friends, my actual friends. Well, anyway...I started the changes in my life about 3 days ago. Ian and I are on a semi-break thing. We'll see what happens. I feel like i don't know him anymore, I don't even know myself anymore. I think I have some soul searching to do, or whatever you want to call it. I'm going to Berkley in October. I'm really excited. I miss Ashley, it's funny too. We didn't hang out that much and we haven't talked in a while but some how I miss that neighborly bond we had haha. Weird. I think I'm going to move back home. hmm...I liked it better when I was always happy and nothing anyone could say would bring me down. When I had fun, when I danced, when I did gymnastics, when I sang really loud in my room (because that is the only place I can sing where no one would be mad, haha), when I talked to people, I used to talk on the phone for hours and always have something to say, now I sit there in silence, my life has fallen into the shadows, the silence of my own mind, and I'm afraid I don't know what to do. Let's rewind. I want to just say that this drab period in my life is at it's end, so I will say it and be finished with it, no more crying about anything. I think this is the beginning of the old me. I liked that person. :) It's weird how someone can say so little to you to make you realize so much. Thank You. |
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onthiswickedday's journal
chipper
cold
drained